Nathan: This dude who's more than big-headed than me told me to write well-nigh drug dealing.
Frank: Wait a minute. There's someone more arrogant than you?

Before y'all even call back about getting into the drug business organisation with someone (or selling them a decent amount), you demand to know everything possible about them by doing a deep search on them. We're talking finding out sensitive info like background checks, police records, social media secrets, public records, etc. That will encompass all the bases that simple Google searching can't practise:

Every person on planet Earth (and in that location are no exceptions), at some bespeak in time, has wanted to be a drug dealer. Allow'southward face it, information technology's a great gig. Drug dealers are their own bosses, they piece of work their own hours, and they make decent coin. I mean really, how tin you crush that gig? Y'all can't, dammit. You lot just can't.

Then, because back in the solar day, before I turned eighteen and later on I hit puberty, I may accept fractured an occasional law or 3 when information technology came to the dispensing of illegal narcotics, I can tell you lot honestly how to get into the lucrative career that is drug dealing. Sing it with me now, "I'chiliad hither to help." I'thou making the world a meliorate place, one cavalcade at a time. It takes a village and all that.

A Drug Dealer's Checklist

  1. Find a lawyer as presently as possible.
  2. Run a background check on anyone yous do business with.
  3. Heighten $500+ cash for initial supply.
  4. Go a reliable cell phone.
  5. Secure your stash at all times.
  6. Safeguard your privacy/identity.
  7. Apply for health insurance, aka "fight protection."

Footstep 1: Locate your Clientele

If you attend high school or college, and you tin't locate your clientele, you either alive in the nearly backwater place imaginable or you are a total moron, and I am honestly surprised you tin can read.

Drug dealer hands off drugs for money

If y'all practice not nourish college or high school, my advice to you is to find the nearest college or loftier school and keep your ears open. Eventually, you lot volition hear kids talking almost this 1 guy they know (and yes, it's usually a guy) who does more than drugs than anyone they've always seen. After you hear this name a few hundred times, you tin can be dead certain that you've found your new friend for life. Merely always run a background check on him to avoid tangling yourself up in any trouble. Then find this guy and hang out. I guarantee you, he'll be fun to political party with, and he'll be the key to getting into the softer side of the concern (selling at schools, parties, friends' houses, etc).

Please do not leave to confined or rougher parts of town and try to sell anything. You've got a lot to learn before you lot can become in that location.

Likewise, please note: Key Urges is not responsible. For anything. Ever.

Step 2: Buy and Use

To go a successful drug dealer, you must beginning become a successful drug purchaser. Purchase and use equally many drugs every bit y'all tin can detect. Once your proper noun becomes synonymous with drug use, people volition begin approaching you and asking you to share the wealth.

At this point, you can become back to your supplier and have him or her (but I mean, come on, it's almost ever a him) provide you with more drugs at a discounted cost. Y'all don't need a roadmap from there.

Footstep 3: Purchase a Safety

Non simply any prophylactic—a large, heavy sucker that no stoner could peradventure move. Throw everything of value into that safe. Dealers get robbed. A lot.

Now, after you lot have followed these steps, y'all should have no problem selling drugs to any human. However, at that place are withal some rules yous need to keep in mind. As I have said on more occasions than I can count (mainly considering I can't exercise math) over the last few years, you gotta have rules.

The Superlative 10 Rules to Being a Drug Dealer

10. When introduced to a new client, never admit to having whatever drugs on y'all.

Y'all have to always, "go go information technology from your friend." You practise this and so that no one starts spreading rumors that y'all walk effectually with drugs on you. People who walk effectually with mass quantities of drugs on them go beaten and robbed. Shocking, I know.

9. When purchasing large amounts of drugs, you must make certain that the purchase takes place in the dealer's home.

You do this so that anybody knows that you know where to go if you get stiffed. Basically, it's merely good to know where the guy (or girl) to whom you merely paid x grand happens to live. It's besides proficient to know everything you can nigh your supplier (beyond just Googling), so run a detailed background check on him before making the buy (as we mentioned earlier).

viii. When purchasing large amounts of drugs from a dealer'southward home, show some tact and respect your dealer'southward privacy.

Practise non ask the dealer where he or she is from, or what his or her favorite hobbies are or annihilation like that. One of the reasons that movies and television e'er depict dealers and thieves having funny conversations about odd topics is because that's all they can actually talk well-nigh. They talk nigh TV, sports, the mode the government fucks them over and where to become good food. They about never talk about themselves. So don't inquire. You'll only make them feel uncomfortable.

7. Know how to fight.

Or know a lot of people who do. (If you lot're going to carry a weapon, at least read my guide on "How to Get Abroad with Murder". You never know…)

6. Never front annihilation to anyone for any reason unless y'all would trust them to watch your house for an entire calendar week.

I'm serious here. I mean, if you lot're gonna front something to someone, yous better wish you were related to that person. He or she better exist the best person in the globe.

5. Don't drink much.

This is not a chore for drunks. Drunks are sloppy.

4. If you lot get high off your product, brand sure yous're only smoking turn a profit.

Anybody knows this. Few people do it. Kinda like how people used to treat seatbelts dorsum in the '60s. And we all know how important seatbelts turned out to be.

three. Don't get pets and trivial kids loftier.

This i really isn't a dominion for dealers, so much as it is just an opinion of mine that needs to be voiced. Leave the animals and children alone. Trust me, they don't need to exist any dumber.

2. If e'er arrested, don't say a thing until advised by a lawyer.

And never rat. In that location is zip worse than a rat.

1. Don't get a fellow/girlfriend who is a total druggie.

Not only will y'all never know if you tin can trust or honey him or her, you also volition be losing coin when he or she steals products from you. It'due south a lose-lose relationship. Kinda similar the US in the World Loving cup.

Drug dealing is a great profession, but similar all great professions, at that place are more applicants than successful professionals. If y'all actually want to make coin as a drug dealer, y'all can practice information technology. Only you must follow the rules. Call up, the rules exist for your benefit. Now, I hate to sound all condescending and preachy but folks, y'all just gotta respect the rules.

Peculiarly if you lot want to exist a drug dealer.

What you should do now:

  1. Run a background check on potential suppliers, customers, and yourself
  2. Do a reverse phone number lookup on someone
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